mrsamct
Registred
Joined: 06 Aug 2011
Posts: 207
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 Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2011 1:00 pm Post subject: The North American Meathead |
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Costumes
campos de paintball madrid
Treat this introductory passage as if you're viewing the back of a sports card:
North American Meathead
IQ: 94
Body Fat %: 3.2
Average Pick-up Line:
"Are you listening to Coldplay too? Haha, just kidding, I was listening to Seether!"
Typical Gym Wardrobe: Wife Beater and Wind Pants
Juicebox, Juicehead, Gorilla, Ox, Roidhead, Beefcake, although many a moniker, none is more specifically accurate nor geographically precise than the title of "North American Meathead."
They slam barbells to the ground nearly as loud as they grunt when lifting them. They keep a four month supply of whey protein in their gym locker. They have the personality of a dust mop. They have perfect teeth, and to top it all off, they "suds up" with Axe body wash and deodorize with body spray.
Now don't fret if you do one of the above things, the rule of bicep here is one of totality. If you do all of those above things, or display at least 90 percent of the aforementioned characteristics (and you live in North America), you might have cause for concern. You might just be a North American Meathead.
Is it time for a protein shake? Or are you just happy to see me? Anyone who has ever purchased a gym membership knows the type. There's Vinnie the Vasodilator, Jake the Juicer, and of course, Brock the Block. Yeah, each gym has one.
Highly vascular and half masculine, the North American Meathead has a surplus of distinguishing characteristics. A deep dark tan, tattoos, and hair gel layer the landscape of these barbell behemoths. They are as noticeable as their stereotype is perpetuating.
A perplexing characteristic however, is the incredible ability of the North American Meathead to imbibe incredible amounts of alcohol, yet still maintain such a "cut" physique. In the lexicon of a meathead, you'll notice re-occurring terms such as: cut, ripped, pumps, nitro, and even the occasional HUURRRGH as they exaggerate a shrugging of their shoulders in one of the many mirrors lining your typical fitness center walls.
Pride and vanity flow from the exterior just as readily as FDA non-approved supplements flow through the interior when regarding the North American Meathead. But let's get back to the alcohol, for this is what cements the North American Meathead into the driveway of Dude. Just like you and me, the NAMH likes to let loose from time to time with a few brews, wells, rails, and gin tonics. Sometimes just as aggressively, and most of the time, twice as belligerently.
Perhaps it's the powdered diet that counterbalances the negative aesthetic body shaping consequences of alcohol. When taking lean muscle mass blasters and fat shredders, how can alcohol possibly have a chance to become fattening? Well, outside of a beer gut if the NAMH in question doesn't do "Ab Days."
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mrsamct |
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